d-cage

:: freedom :: is an abstract that only exists in the imagination

4.26.2005

鬆三口氣 + 吸兩口陽光

第一口:中日和好
雖然中日握手和好,但問題真的就這樣解決了嗎?這次的繃帶有效期到何時何月?

第二口:Seminar paper completed!
連續幾個星期不斷趕文章,再加上其他工作,何止空閒,連睡眠時間也被侵蝕。一天隨了坐,食和睡之外也無他了。完了一篇,又開第二篇(要努力,要努力)。

第三口:一個學期的結束
一晚連改100多份卷,翌天腦部痴呆。

第四口:天氣好轉,外出運動也!
從腦部痴呆的那天起開始練跑步,不到4天回復 6x400m!今年目標 12x400m。

第五口:Kamikaze, Cherry Blossoms, and Nationalisms
開始閱讀"Kamikaze, Cherry Blossoms, and Nationalisms"。雖然進度較慢,會嘗試再Blog寫一下summary,(不過會用英文寫)。

...腦部痴呆中,寫不出什麼好東西。對不起。
趕著seminar paper 時滿腦子題材,現在卻什麼也寫不出...

4.17.2005

CH-JP relations

wishing this outrage will stop... it can only get worse as we all know...

4.16.2005

endless ...

Endless Road - by: Lin Jun Jie- 距離(國語版)

the truth is tearing up my heart
I can't recognize this place
the endless road without a stop sign
can't even find a stranger this time

why am I still holding back my tears
in this loneliness there's nothing to fear
every chord still seems a wonder
how we could be together
every time I ask if this
would be the last

why am I still talking to myself
hoping you will have the keys to my cell
every song might calm the weather
but it just draws me deeper
how do I get out of this I think
I never will

a crystal forming in the eye
maybe this would be the last
the winding path down my face
till I begin to taste the bitterness inside

*****comment*****
so in love with this song, both in mandarin and in english ♡
(right now, i'm inclined to read this song as "endless road (to finish my paper)" ;_; )

*the truth (ideology) is tearing up my heart, i can't recognise this place, the endless road without a stop sign, can't even find a stranger this time. ... everytime i ask if this paper will be the last ... why am i still talking to myself, hoping you (truth) will have the keys to my cell, every "truth" might calm the weather, but it just draws me deeper, how do i get out of this, i think i never will, a crystal forming in the eye, maybe this would be the last, the winding path down my face, till i begin to taste the bitterness inside....*

前日聽了一句inspiring/motivating的句子,「讀哲學就是為了不用讀哲學」
(我什麼時候可以畢業呢?如何知道自己已經畢業呢? - - - 路還很遠,繼續努力罷)

4.13.2005

現代沙士比亞式悲劇

「橋邊有冇石壆�?我想落車睇�風景!」

楊哀聲要求吳:「唔該同我老婆講聲:『對唔住』!」吳以為楊是欠債,救人心切,竟然膽粗粗說:「我可以賣埋架車同你還債呀!」楊淡然回應:「你幫我唔到,我有癌症冇得醫!」吳只好改口:「依家科學咁先進點會冇得醫呢?」但楊不為所動,深深吸一口氣已縱身躍下海中。水警輪趕至在附近海面搜索,由於海面漆黑一片,警員經十多分鐘搜索,始將他救起,由於青馬橋高約六十二公尺,墮下產生衝擊力甚大,楊頭頂嚴重受傷,送往荃灣公眾碼頭再由救護車送院,惜延至六時十六分證實不治。警方根據字條上的電話通知楊妻趕往醫院,惜已無法見丈夫最後一面,她向警方表示,丈夫患有癌症,懷疑他因病厭世。

死者楊炳沃(五十一歲),妻子姓梁(五十歲),居住半山列堤頓道。
「我好愛你,太太」

青馬大橋九七年五月通車,至昨日為止,已先後發生六宗跳橋自殺案件。

修改自:癡漢魂斷青馬橋 (4月 14日 星期四)【東方日報專訊】

***感/想***
是因為愛生命的美好一面, 愛自己,選擇了在一切要被毀滅之前去毀滅一切。
但他真的愛他的妻子嗎?

他對她的愛 和 她對他的愛
・・・ ・・或・・・・・
他對他的愛 和 他對他的愛
・・・ ・・或・・・・・
她對她的愛 和 她對她的愛
・・・・・之間・・・・・
兩者的接合點有時總難免有差距


(到底這裡的"space/indent"是點打的呢...?)

4.12.2005

幢景

♪ All the leaves are brown
And the sky is grey
I went for a walk
On a winter's day
I'd be safe and warm
If I was in L.A.
California dreamin'
On such a winter's day ♪

陣陣細雨,我開始幻想加州個邊係唔係好好陽光。其實個日班機cancel都係一件好事。去唔到,幢景的加州更美。過了一座山,令一邊味又係o甘...

4.11.2005

If the world were a village of 100 people

In the world today, 6 biliion 300 million people live.
If this world were shrunk to the size of a village,
what would it look like?
If 100 people lived in this village,

52 would be women, 48 would be men
30 would be children, 70 would be adults.
7 would be aged.
90 would be heterosexual, 10 would be homosexual
70 would be nonwhite, 30 would be white
61 would be Asian, 13 African, 13 from North and South America, 12 Europeans, and the remaining one from the South Pacific.
33 would be Christians, 19 believers in Islam, 13 would be Hindus, and 6 would follow Buddhist teachings. 5 would believe that there are spirits in the trees and rocks and in all of nature. 24 would be believe in other religions, or would believe in no religion.
17 would speak Chinese, 9 English, 8 Hindi and Urdu, 6 Spanish, 6 Russian, and 4 would speak Arabic. That would account for half the village. The other half would speak Bengal, Portuguese, Indonesian, Japanese, German, French, or some other language.
In such a village with so many sorts of folks, it would be very important to learn to understand people different from yourself and to accept others as they are. But consider this. Of the 100 people in this village,

20 are underonurished, 1 is dying of starvation, while 15 are overweight.
Of the wealth in this village, 6 people own 59% (all of them from the United States), 74 people own 39%, and 20 people share the remaining 2%.
Of the energy of this village, 20 people consume 80%, and 80 people share the remaining 20%.
75 people have some supply of food and a place to shelter them from the wind and the rain, but 25 do not. 17 have no clean, safe water to drink.
If you have money in the bank, money in your wallet and spare change somewhere around the house, then you are among the richest 8.
If you have a car, you are among the richest 7.
Among the villages, 1 has a college education. 2 have computers. 14 cannot read.
If you can speak and act according to your faith and your conscience without harassment, imprisonment, torture or death, then you are more fortunate than 48, who can not.
If you do not live in fear of death by bombardment, armed attack, landmines, or of rape or kidnapping by armed groups, then you are more fortunate than 20, who do.
In one year, 1 person in the village will die, but in the same year, 2 babies will be born, so that at the year's end the number of villagers will be 101.

First, because someone thought of you and sent you this message.
Second, because you are able to read.
Third, and most important, because you are alive.

So sing from the bottom of your heart,
dance with your body waving free,
and live, putting your soul into it.
And when you love,
love as though you have never been wounded,
even if you have.
And love the fact that you and others,
live here in this village.

Perhaps if enough of us learn to love our village,
it may yet be possible to save it from being torn apart.

English Translation: C. Douglas Lummis
Original Japanese: Ikeda, Kayoko

====
今日清理電腦文件的時後找到日文版的「世界がもし100人の村だったら」「如果世界是100人的村落」的document. 有所感慨後在網上找了英文版post上blog. 本來想找中文版但找不到。有關介紹在<此>

4.09.2005

歴史/民族/平等/和平 ﹣如何取得平行?

近日北京的抗日運動,真令人擔心。

歴史教育,民族主義,民心,到底應該怎樣做才能達到平行?

德國:歴史教育完善,永遠抱著一個不可遺忘的教育宗旨,民心卻抱著罪人的負擔。
日本:想擺脫歴史來個新開始,被各界責備要對中韓道歉,民心對這壓迫都累了。人民抱著「這都是過去政府的錯,為何要我們現代人來負荷?」的態度。

民族主義如果侵略到其他民族的人權,自由,存在等,在今時今日的世界簡直是一個負累。
民族主義如果是維護自己民族的人權,自由,存在等,在任何情況下也值得保留。
「民族主義」這概念是否應該來一次 re-definition 呢?

侵犯人權,自由,存在,其實在不同層面下每天都不斷在發生,只要有一方面的勢力比較大。
勢力的存在是無法擺脫。那麼了解和認識不就是最好解決的渠道嗎?
開始明白John Lennon/Ono Yoko 當年在床上的campaign,"make love, not war"的意義是什麼。
其實,男女之間的愛也存在著勢力鬥掙。如果男女之間能於愛而得到平行,同樣道理也能於其他制度下成立罷?
這是太理想的想法。

其實,16-18世紀在歐洲也不斷發生戰爭,侵略其他國家的事件,死傷及後患也不少。
到底什麼地方出錯了?

愚痴的白晝夢話
"Love is real, real is love ... Love is free, free is love, Love is living, living love, Love is needing to be loved"♪

4.08.2005

peace

(續duke的感想)
From: Japanese Society for History Textbook Reform Ch. 66
(link provided by 幽少)
盧溝橋的日中衝突

在現地的廣東軍(1)等的日本軍為了保護滿州和發展 聯合集團經濟(2),於不會干撓到蔣介石政黨的鄰近華北地帶建立親日政治份子,與中國的關係日漸緊張起來。同時,日本在北京四周安置了4000名佔領軍. 這是在(義和團)事件發生之後,與其他國家和中國所簽的條約是相同。1937.7.7晚,於北京郊外的盧溝橋上,有數名人士向演習中的日本軍發炮。翌日,日本軍和中國國民黨軍便進入了戰爭狀態(盧溝橋事件)。本來可以在當地解決事情,但續漸各方都動了大規模的軍事,中日戰爭便延續了8年。
同年8月,於外交勢力強的上海發生了兩名日本軍人被殺的事件。因這件事的原故引發了整個中日戰爭。日本軍認為如果能將首都南京擊敗蔣介石便會屈服, 於12月將南京占領(因為日本軍,當時的也有諸多平民死傷。南京事件)。可是蔣介石已把首都移定到重慶,抗戰持續。

- I've kept strictly to the original, please note the following:
*(1) - I believe this is the name of a troop
*(2) - English translation: bloc economy

(First of all, I apologize for my level of Chinese proficiency. Second, to speak honestly, I am not very familiar with historical facts and terms, especially when it is in the Chinese language, certain nuances may be incorrect. Please advise.)

有關〔靖國神社〕:靖國神社的歴史和日本傳統文化,在此一言難盡。有本新出的書可以介紹:
Ohnuki-Tierney, Emiko (姓,名)
書: Kamikaze, cherry blossoms, and nationalisms : the militarization of aesthetics in Japanese history
Chicago : University of Chicago Press, 2002.

廣島(HIroshima)的和平記念館和公園都到過,惟獨是靖國神社我一直未有勇氣去看看到底是怎樣。聽說裡面的柱全刻著士兵的名子,每日有和尚為他們念經。(注:神社是日本本土的宗教(神道 Shintoism)的地方,不是佛教)戰爭實在太可怕,雖然知道應該多閱讀多了解,但實在很悲哀,沒法深入研究。曾讀過戰後出版的長短篇小說,感受到各方的處境,好多時都會讀到發抖或哭泣。哎....

P E A C E

有無聽過一首歌, "Where is the Love" by Black Eyed Peas. 是當US話要打Iraq時一隊US rap樂隊作的歌。非常之有意思。歌詞

4.05.2005

h.i.d.e

最近在duke兄個blog上有個非常熱鬧的話題

由於visual rock(應該說是X, 後期改名為X Japan 中的yoshiki, 和hide)是我從前的「偶像」,goth/loli也是我的居住於日本當時的所屬圈子之一,我對話題十分關注。Yoshiki, hide到今已經成為了我「人生哲理」的一部份,由其是hide,他已是我生命的一部份。做人處事,音樂藝術,寫作表達,都是我萬分敬佩的一位藝術家。我更欣賞的是hide能將他的藝術活用於生命中。最近新寵的藝術家是 Pier Paolo Pasolini,超前衛的導演兼作家。

為何會那麼喜歡hide? ---一言難盡
可能是因為他能將生存/死亡這枷鎖的存在意識化解為破解生存/束縛的理由與動力罷。簡單來說,他教了我什麼是自由罷。
認識hide當年1997,中學年代,愛讀哲學但總覺得跳不出框架。
1998.5.2 hide 去世。
對我來說,他是自殺死,雖然無人肯定到,更無人會希望他是自殺死。

他死忌那天再說「粉紅蜘蛛」的故事。

今日坐車回家時腦袋不斷在哼:hide 的"A Story" 雖然還未知道潛意識裡在想什麼。
壊れた時計が話しかけるよ、全ての物も人も目を閉じて、全て夢だと、目さめた時思いたいと。君も僕も古ぼけた言葉と、ホコリ、被った思いでにまみれ、ガラクタになって、前も後も何もない、肌に刺さる風は、すなを運んでゆく、目さめれば君も僕もただの塊になる
牆上壞了的時鐘講了個故事,「當人和物都閉上眼,他們再睜開眼睛時都會想這一切是夢。」
你我和我們之間的過期了的對話都會有天成為灰,被記憶沾上鮮血,變成廢物,再沒有過去和未來。
切膚的風將帶走塵埃,如能夠再睜眼,你我也只會成為土塊

Since the last little excerpts was not very poetic, here is a piece by yoshiki, another one of my favourites.

Excerpts from "Art of Life" by Yoshiki:
I believe in the madness called "now". / Past and future prison my heart. / Time is blind, but I wanna trace my love, / on the walls of time over pain in my heart. / Art of life. / Insane blade stabbing dreams. / Try to break all truth now. / But I can't heal this broken heart in pain. / Cannot start to live, / cannot end my life, / keep on crying.
...
I believe in the madness called "now". / Time goes flowing, breaking my heart. / Wanna live, can't let my heart kill myself. / Still, I haven't found what I'm looking for. / Art Of Life / I try and stop myself but my heart goes to destroy the truth. /Tell me why, I want the meaning of my life. / Do I try to live? / Do I try to love? / In my dream...
...
Dreams can make me mad. / I can't leave my dream, I can't stop myself / Don't know what I am, what lies are truth? / What truths are lies?

---
好了,我真的要閉上眼睛了.... 又6am了

4.02.2005

Language game (part I)

Well, the idea of localizing foreign languages wouldn't be a surprise to the Cantonese speaking population, especially for those who grew up in HK.

Some examples:
bus - 巴士; cheese - 芝士; cookie - 曲奇
But why is "cheese cake" called "芝士蛋糕" and not something else?
Why is "fillo pastry" called "酥" and not "菲酪"?
But, "coffee" is "咖啡," "brown" is more commonly known as "咖啡色" or "啡色" rather than "褐色" or "棕色" in colloquial language.
How does the local culture decide what to name foreign imports? And how do people resonnate these foreign imports in their local lives?
What happens in post-97 when you may come across a person who does not understand what you mean by "菲林," "熱狗" or "威化餅"?

Some mysteries: (please post your guess in the comment; if you have something interesting, please post!!)
a. 江戶川亂步 (Japanese name for an American writer)
b. 福特主義 (Chinese name for an American practice; this is probably easy...)
c. devil's tongue (English name for the name of a food that probably started in Japan, Chinese (HK people) has started using them in 火鍋 in recent years.)
d. fortune cookie (a North-American 'Chinese' snack; does anyone know where this may have originated from? Is it pure American creation or does it actually have roots in "Chinese"?)

4.01.2005

原來如此:Origins of April Fool's Day

There are several explanations for the origin of April Fools' Day, but here is the most plausible one. April 1st was once New Year's Day in France. In 1582, Pope Gregory declared the adoption of his Gregorian calendar to replace the Julian calendar and New Year's Day was officially changed to January 1st. It took awhile for everyone in France to hear the news of this major change and others obstinately refused to accept the new calendar, so a lot of people continued to celebrate New Year's Day on the first of April – earning them the name April fools. The April fools were subjected to ridicule and practical jokes and the tradition was born. The butts of these pranks were first called poisson d'avril or April fish because a young naive fish is easily caught. A common practice was to hook a paper fish on the back of someone as a joke. This evolved over time and a custom of prank-playing continues on the first day of April

- taken from dictionary.com